It was 20 years ago today...

...well, near enough. Despite dire warnings of further floods, and only an hour's rehearsal in two decades, the original line up of Beyond Therapy convened in a marquee "somewhere in Sussex" to play a secret one-off gig as promised for their ever-loyal fans (thanks, Jean and Brian!). No doubt in years to come, the number of people claiming to have been at this re-uniting of one of mid-Sussex's greatest heavy metal bands of the late 1980s will be greater than those who reckon they saw the Sex Pistols at the 100 Club in '76. But no matter, those who were there were treated to a special appearance by founder member Dave Etheridge-Barnes (far left) on lead guitar and "tasty cakes", giving the band a triple-guitar attack to rival Iron Maiden.

If only we'd agreed what parts we were all playing!

"Text from Mulligan - he's running late. Something about about having to re-shoot three old codgers sliding down a country lane in a bathtub"

"Ah, here he is. I remember him being taller, don't you?"

"Guess where this finger's been?"

And for those of you who weren't there, here's a look at what you missed:




If we leave it another 20 years, I’ll be 60!

F**king hell…

Up your arse...

...with a backstage pass.

Metal legends to re-form for summer 2007 show

Bands re-forming, eh? Is it the the money (as it certainly was for the Pistols on their 'Filthy Lucre' tour in '96)? Or are they simply trying to relive their younger, sexier heyday? They're all at it again this year: The Police, Genesis, Sabbath/Dio (aka 'Heaven & Hell'), three quarters of Van Halen... er, the Jam without Weller, anyone??

Well, there's another reason to rock and roll in 2007: that mid-Sussex metal machine 'Beyond Therapy' will be lighting up the live stage for the first time since 1988. (L to R) Powerhouse drummer Dan Mulligan, front man/rythym guitarist Gary Masters, virtuoso lead axeman Jon Piercy, and rock steady bassist Mark Piercy, will be performing a set of Therapy classics including 'The Schizoid Man' and 'The Shadow of Fear' at an outdoor venue to be confirmed (if wet, in village hall). Tickets are strictly limited to the number we can sell or give away.

Mark has promised an even more spectacular lighting rig than the legendary 'two Mini headlights screwed to a plank of wood between Dan's bass drums' which gave Motorhead's bomber and Saxon's eagle such a run for their money at the time.



Beyond Therapy: Live. But still brain dead.

Monsters of Rock

With the recent news that Iron Maiden will be headlining Sunday at this year's Download festival, I received yet another reminder (as if I needed one) that I am well and truly into old fartdom and my headbanging heyday is receeding faster than my gums. Christ, it was fifteen years ago that I watched Maiden headline in that same muddy field at Donington Park - only then the festival was called 'Monsters of Rock'. In fact I first saw them on Saturday March 20th 1982 at the Hammersmith Odeon, on the 'Beast on the Road' tour - £3.75 for a seat in the circle. Last December, by comparison, a standing ticket at Sheffield Arena for the 'Matter of Life and Death' show was £32.50, plus £3.25 booking fee. ("I remember when you could get a return from Three Bridges to Victoria, a return on the District Line from Victoria to Hammersmith, have a pre-show pint in the Swan, see a live concert, buy a T-shirt and tour programme, eat a hot dog afterwards and still have change from a farthing...etc. etc.")

The picture at the top of this post was taken at Donington 1992, and features the Bedford crew who congregated around the Esquires club in that town in early 90s - a great bunch of people. From L-R standing: Rob, his brother Dave, Sarah, Mark (obscured), Tom, Jackie, Lisa, Alan. Not forgetting me kneeling - and Lisa B, my significant other at the time, who took the photo. The Bedford standard is visible above us, to guide us back from the beer tent or ablutions (such as they were).

Anyway, MOR - more affectionately known as just 'Donington' - was heavy metal mecca for any serious headbanger in the 80s and 90s. I made it five times in all: 1984, 1985,1986, 1988, and 1992. For the record:

1984: AC/DC, Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne, Gary Moore, Y&T, Accept, Motley Crue.
1985: ZZ Top, Marillion, Bon Jovi, Metallica, Ratt, Magnum
1986: Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, Def Leppard, Motorhead, Bad News, Warlock
1988: Iron Maiden, KISS, David Lee Roth, Megadeth, Guns N' Roses, Helloween
1992: Iron Maiden, Skid Row, Thunder, Slayer, W.A.S.P., The Almighty

Now, I know everyone reckons music was better when they were younger, and call me an old stuck-in-the-mud if you will (Reader's voice: "you're an old stuck-in-the-mud"), but these were PROPER rock bands: long-haired, tight-trousered, powerchording, drum-soloing, foot-up-on-the-monitor, Harley-riding, Jack Daniel's-swigging, "scream for me Donington" bands: as opposed to half the baggy jean-wearing, shoe-gazing, mumbling, cant play a guitar solo/won't play a guitar solo, boring nonsense we seem to get nowadays.

We shall never see their like again. Except for Iron Maiden of course. (And Slayer. And Ozzy. And didn't the Almighty play a couple of shows last year? Actually, now I come to think of it...)

(Not) famous for thirty minutes...

You can keep your reconstituted Paxo version of 'University Challenge': this was the daddy of inter-college gameshows in 1990. (What do you mean, you've never heard of it?)

One day I might expand upon how a rather hungover Sandy Fraser, Chris Pope and I got to represent Cranfield Institute of Technology in a national TV show. For now, I'll just tease you with this image:No, Sandy - the answer isn't "oh f***".

Actually, his response was to me picking 'Science' as a category, only to get four questions on biology - which we promptly fluffed (researching marine technology and molecular electronics as we were!). But he did restore some honour to Cranfield by giving four straight correct answers to questions on the 1988 Olympics.

From which one could conclude that we were a bunch of wasters who knew nothing about anything except sport.

Wasn't my hair scary!

Not as scary as losing to Manchester Poly, though.

Thank God no-one had a squarial.

The Boy Gaz

This was how my old Bedford housemate Steve Renshaw saw me - he drew the cartoons in the style of Viz comic, which amused us both greatly, being full of double entendres and frankly crude toilet humour...

The toaster refers to my well-known loathing for these machines (they have one function in life, which they cannot dispense properly; you either get bread, or carbon. My view is that I can burn toast quite adequately myself, without the need for a specialised machine to do it for me. The toaster we had at the time was supposedly 'microprocessor controlled'. It still burnt the toast!!). To this day I moan like hell whenever the thing sets off the smoke alarm ouside the kitchen!

Here's part two: this one features Ratters (the third member of our shared house, Paul Rattray) and our fixation with Z-list TV celebs. I think that stemmed from when Chandi got me a signed photo of Harry Gration and Judith Stamper from BBC 'Look North', which I used to watch as a student in Leeds in the mid-80s (his sister worked at BBC Leeds, you see!).



Part three features my beloved Ford Capri which was, of course, the vehicle of choice in later seasons of 'The Professionals' - hence the CI5 references!! In this strip, Steve has me at the Job Centre - which is where I was to be found every fortnight for a good part of 1992, all of 1993, and early 1994. I avoided being forced to stop sponging off the taxpayers and go flip burgers somewhere on the pretext that I was 'writing up my PhD', but once I'd submitted my thesis that excuse no longer held water, and Steve and I were 'encouraged' by the DHSS to attend an NVQ in Management at Bedford College...and that's another story.

Situations vacant

This looks like an interesting job. Quite an extensive list of skills and qualifications required!

Materials/Corrosion Engineer
Location: e.g. Loughborough

Job Description

The Integrity Management practice at Advantica currently has vacancies for materials/corrosion engineers based at Loughborough.

The roles will be spread across a number of work areas within the practice and will present an excellent opportunity to develop skills in corrosion management, risk based inspection, failure investigations and fitness-for–service assessments. Liaison with other teams and disciplines within Advantica such as flow assurance, metallurgy, coatings, welding and engineering analysis will be required together with site work in the UK and overseas. There will also be development opportunities through overseas assignments.

Job Requirements
Qualifications:

* HNC/HND or degree (or equivalent) in a materials/corrosion related discipline
* Delivery of laboratory based test programmes
* Excellent communication skills including the ability to write clear and concise reports and give presentations
* Excellent team working skills and time management skills
* Ability to develop strong client relationships
* Flexibility to travel within the UK and overseas
* Willingness to work on short to medium term assignments in both the UK and overseas

Practical “hands on” skills in at least two of the following areas would be a distinct advantage:

* Corrosion inhibition selection
* Corrosion monitoring techniques
* Scanning Electron Microscopy/Energy Dispersive Elemental Microanalysis SEM/EDX
* Metallurgy investigations
* Material selection
* Risk Based Inspection

Skills in the following areas, although not essential, would be an advantage:

* A basic knowledge of National Grid’s UK National Transmission System gas pipeline assets
* A basic knowledge of pressure systems
* Chartered Engineer

Wonder who'll they find with all those skills, and what package they might offer??