(Not) famous for thirty minutes...

You can keep your reconstituted Paxo version of 'University Challenge': this was the daddy of inter-college gameshows in 1990. (What do you mean, you've never heard of it?)

One day I might expand upon how a rather hungover Sandy Fraser, Chris Pope and I got to represent Cranfield Institute of Technology in a national TV show. For now, I'll just tease you with this image:No, Sandy - the answer isn't "oh f***".

Actually, his response was to me picking 'Science' as a category, only to get four questions on biology - which we promptly fluffed (researching marine technology and molecular electronics as we were!). But he did restore some honour to Cranfield by giving four straight correct answers to questions on the 1988 Olympics.

From which one could conclude that we were a bunch of wasters who knew nothing about anything except sport.

Wasn't my hair scary!

Not as scary as losing to Manchester Poly, though.

Thank God no-one had a squarial.

The Boy Gaz

This was how my old Bedford housemate Steve Renshaw saw me - he drew the cartoons in the style of Viz comic, which amused us both greatly, being full of double entendres and frankly crude toilet humour...

The toaster refers to my well-known loathing for these machines (they have one function in life, which they cannot dispense properly; you either get bread, or carbon. My view is that I can burn toast quite adequately myself, without the need for a specialised machine to do it for me. The toaster we had at the time was supposedly 'microprocessor controlled'. It still burnt the toast!!). To this day I moan like hell whenever the thing sets off the smoke alarm ouside the kitchen!

Here's part two: this one features Ratters (the third member of our shared house, Paul Rattray) and our fixation with Z-list TV celebs. I think that stemmed from when Chandi got me a signed photo of Harry Gration and Judith Stamper from BBC 'Look North', which I used to watch as a student in Leeds in the mid-80s (his sister worked at BBC Leeds, you see!).



Part three features my beloved Ford Capri which was, of course, the vehicle of choice in later seasons of 'The Professionals' - hence the CI5 references!! In this strip, Steve has me at the Job Centre - which is where I was to be found every fortnight for a good part of 1992, all of 1993, and early 1994. I avoided being forced to stop sponging off the taxpayers and go flip burgers somewhere on the pretext that I was 'writing up my PhD', but once I'd submitted my thesis that excuse no longer held water, and Steve and I were 'encouraged' by the DHSS to attend an NVQ in Management at Bedford College...and that's another story.

Situations vacant

This looks like an interesting job. Quite an extensive list of skills and qualifications required!

Materials/Corrosion Engineer
Location: e.g. Loughborough

Job Description

The Integrity Management practice at Advantica currently has vacancies for materials/corrosion engineers based at Loughborough.

The roles will be spread across a number of work areas within the practice and will present an excellent opportunity to develop skills in corrosion management, risk based inspection, failure investigations and fitness-for–service assessments. Liaison with other teams and disciplines within Advantica such as flow assurance, metallurgy, coatings, welding and engineering analysis will be required together with site work in the UK and overseas. There will also be development opportunities through overseas assignments.

Job Requirements
Qualifications:

* HNC/HND or degree (or equivalent) in a materials/corrosion related discipline
* Delivery of laboratory based test programmes
* Excellent communication skills including the ability to write clear and concise reports and give presentations
* Excellent team working skills and time management skills
* Ability to develop strong client relationships
* Flexibility to travel within the UK and overseas
* Willingness to work on short to medium term assignments in both the UK and overseas

Practical “hands on” skills in at least two of the following areas would be a distinct advantage:

* Corrosion inhibition selection
* Corrosion monitoring techniques
* Scanning Electron Microscopy/Energy Dispersive Elemental Microanalysis SEM/EDX
* Metallurgy investigations
* Material selection
* Risk Based Inspection

Skills in the following areas, although not essential, would be an advantage:

* A basic knowledge of National Grid’s UK National Transmission System gas pipeline assets
* A basic knowledge of pressure systems
* Chartered Engineer

Wonder who'll they find with all those skills, and what package they might offer??